C'est la mort
by 0MyElusiveMind0
Summary: Dean and Castiel are killed and sent to a strange world between life and death
1. Prologue

Note: (I own nothing. Supernatural belongs to the CW and was created by Eric Kripke. Also, this fanfiction is for entertainment purposes only).

WARNING: (My spelling sucks).

Sam and Dean had yet again gone their separate ways. It never lasted, but that didn't make it any less painful each time. They were in a small town in North Carolina hunting a Djinn, both still on the job but doing things differently from each other. They'd been down this road a lot. Dean figured it was just a matter of time before they kissed and made up, so to speak. It wasn't his fault that they needed some time to get away from one another. It wasn't even Sam's fault. It was just the stress of the road, he told himself. After the Djinn was taken care of, Dean Winchester felt it best to move onto the next hunt as soon as he found one. He was sitting in the Impala reading various newspapers and using Sam's laptop for research. Sam had lent it to him before they separated, saying that Dean needed it more, considering the fact that Sam wasn't afraid he'd spontaneously com bust if he set foot in a library. As Dean searched for crap relating to more crap, he heard the familiar sound of unseen wings fluttering, and there was Castiel. Dean jumped. "Hello, Dean." Said Castiel from the passenger's side. Dean sighed, clearly agitated. Dean's silence was Castiel's cue. "I need your help." "Get right to the point, will ya'." Muttered Dean sarcastically, mostly to himself. Castiel only cocked his head to one side in his fundamental expression of bewilderment. Dean didn't bother to look at him, but instead kept himself engrossed in his work, making a point of being too busy for whatever it was that Cas wanted. "Dean, I-" "Oh, jackpot." Said Dean pointedly, and turned the laptop at an angle so that Castiel could see. "It sounds like the work of a Demon to me." Said Cas as he read over the information. "Yeah, I'm in agreement with you there. But hey, where there's one, there's many, right?" Castiel said nothing, but Dean didn't expect him to. "I could use another set of hands on this one, Cas. You wanna pitch in?" Castiel nodded. "I suppose." Dean closed the laptop, and said with his regular half genuine, half forced smile, "Awesome."

ψ

Whatever Cas needed help with could wait, Dean told himself. It was something of little import. Cas mentioned something about being in a park and being persuaded by some random woman to read various different novels. Dean left it at that. He was glad for the hunt, an opportunity to get out of the same small town he'd been stuck in for almost a month now. As the duo drove down a mostly deserted highway other than a few cars passing their own here and there, Dean said, "It's good to be back on the road." Cas nodded absently, as if he even knew what the hell Dean was talking about. Dean figured he must have noticed that Sam wasn't with them, but after so many break ups, Cas probably just stopped wondering. There were reports of apparent demonic possession in a town in Connecticut. It was a ways to go, but nothing more than usual. As Dean found out, Cas was rather inpatient. That was nothing new either, though. Every time Dean stopped to use the bathroom, Castiel complained about how much faster it would have been if Dean would just get over himself and let him zap them to their destination. Dean was grateful it was the summer time. If they were to go to Connecticut in the winter, then Dean would have to stock up on warm clothes before hand, which he didn't do.

ψ

They stayed at a crappy motel two states over, and Dean was so tired that he couldn't see straight as he trudged around the small space, removing his boots and his jacket. Cas stood in the center of the room, looking slightly puzzled. Dean flopped down onto the stiff mattress with a heavy sigh. "What's wrong, Cas?" Dean asked, laying on his back and staring up at the ceiling. "Nothing." He replied as he took a seat on the unattractive off green carpet. "What are you doing?" Said Dean as he sat back up on his bed. "Sitting." "Yeah, thanks genius. Look, I hope you're not planning on hanging around here." "I thought-" "I mean in this room." Interrupted Dean. "Where else am I to go?" Wondered Cas. "I don't know! Wander around the Earth doing stuff that it is you angels do." "But-" "Okay. I'm too tired to argue with you. You can stay, but don't watch me sleep." Castiel nodded like he was taking orders from one of his superiors. "Okay."

ψ

Sleep came easily to Dean that night, and he had an erotic dream about some unknown Asian woman. He'd probably been giving too much attention to his collection of Busty Asian Beauties. When he woke, Cas was still in his sitting position on the floor. Dean groaned as he sat up in bed. He rubbed his eyes. "Good morning." Castiel looked up at him. He had been studying the rug intently, so it seemed. "Good morning, Dean." He replied, rising from the floor. "Ready to get back out there?" Said Dean with forced enthusiasm. Castiel nodded. Dean then headed into the tiny, dirty bathroom to relief himself. After he was done with that, he brushed his teeth and washed his face, then came back out. Cas was waiting patiently in the center of the room. "Alright, uh… I'm human, so-" "Breakfast?" Dean paused, a bit surprised by Castiel's acceptance of Dean's annoying human functions. "Yeah, breakfast." He confirmed as he slipped into his mandatory leather jacket. The two decided to go to a local dinner only a short walk from their motel. As Dean speed read the menu, not expressing much interest, Cas read his own. Dean raised one eyebrow at the angel sitting across from him. "You don't eat." "I find the options to be curious." Cas explained, calmly scanning the menu. Dean nodded, though he actually had no idea what Cas was doing. When a heavy set waitress in her mid thirties stopped by their table, Dean ordered a breakfast sandwich with a side of black coffee. Cas said he didn't want anything. Well, Cas said he didn't eat, but Dean quickly covered that up. They were silent for most of the time that Dean ate, until Castiel spoke up. "Are you sure our services are required?" "Hmm?" Dean said through a mouthful of food. "The demonic possessions in that town." Cas explained, leaning forward. "I mean-" just then, Cas held a hand to his head as it ached from the piercing noise of angelic communication. Dean frowned. "Cas, you okay?" Cas returned his solemn expression, and then said, "I have to go." "Cas-" "Dean." Cas cut him off firmly. "Cas, how the hell am I suppose to handle this on my own?" "You're a hunter, Dean." Castiel replied, a trace of annoyance in his tone. "Yeah, but this is a whole town we're talking about." "What about your brother, then?" Dean was silent. Cas sighed, and it sounded oddly natural. Dean grunted in a huff, and pushed his plate to the center of the table. "Fine. How about this… I wait for you?" "Dean, I don't know how long I'll be gone, and this sounds like an important hunt." "Yeah, it does, but I'm not doing it alone." They starred each other down for a moment. Dean figured there were tons of other hunters already swarming in that town full of demons, but he wanted Cas to stay. Whenever him and Sam split up, he felt the need to be companionable with someone, and Cas was his best friend. "I'll be back as soon as I can." Said Castiel, then vanished. Dean let out a long sigh. "Dammit." He muttered under his breath. Someone at the far end of the restaurant witnessed Cas disappearing into thin air, and he looked like he was about to have a heart attack. Dean sighed once more, and called for the check.

ψ

Dean spent two more undesired days in West Virginia. As he leaned against the back of the motel room bed and watched some crappy television show, his cellphone rang. He reached over to the nightstand beside the only bed in this room and answered it. "Hello?" "Dean." Dean then sat up straighter. "Sam?" "Yeah." "What is it?" Dean heard Sam let out a shaky breath on the other end. "Dean, there's a whole town plagued by what sound like demonic possessions." "Yeah, I know. Me and Cas-" "Look, Dean… I know we fought like an old married couple, but we always do, so let's just-" "Work the case together." Dean finished. "Yeah." Sam said with a sigh. Dean nodded, not that Sam could see that. "Alright, yeah. Whatever this is, it's big. All hands on deck, I guess." "Good." Responded Sam. "I'll be there as soon as Cas gets his feathery ass back here." Sam was a bit puzzled by this. "You know, you don't have to treat him like a human, Dean. He can zap over to you in Connecticut." Dean rolled his eyes but said nothing. After he was finished with his phone conversation, he paced his room, desperate to leave West Virginia in his dust. Castiel could indeed find him wherever he was, so what exactly was Dean waiting for? Just then, the sound of wings fluttering filled the small space, and Cas appeared in front of Dean, blood seeping through his white shirt he wore beneath his dirty trench coat. "Whoa." Said Dean as he caught Castiel in mid fall. Panic began to surface within him. "Dean." He managed before he coughed up a heap of chunky blood. Dean dropped Castiel onto his bed, eyes wide. "Cas?" He nearly shouted. Cas slipped into unconsciousness, and that was enough to make Dean piss his pants. Since when did Cas lose consciousness? There were only a handful of times when he had. Dean stood beside the bed and checked if he was still breathing, and he was. Then he checked his pulse for good measure. He was alive, but badly banged up. There were few things powerful enough to take on an angel. Since Cas had gone off on angelic business, Dean's money was on the fact that the angels hurt him. But why? Well, it was civil war up there, so maybe things got hairy or something. Dean felt things click into place. He waited for Castiel, almost as if he knew that he would need Dean. "Crap." He hissed, unsure how to assist his friend. He did the only thing he could do within the range of his human power; he drove him to the hospital.

ψ

As Dean waited outside Castiel's hospital room, he sat in a rather uncomfortable chair outside the room door. The doctors said he wasn't yet aloud to see him. Dean didn't care what the hell the doctors said. After he asked them about Cas's injuries, he called Sam to tell him they'd be there a little later than originally anticipated. Sam was reasonably upset, but Dean told him to just team up with some hunting buddies or some crap until he could get there. Cas was suppose to wake in a few hours or so, and his wounds weren't as severe as they should have been. Dean could only smile at that. Sometimes it amused him how confused people got at Castiel's actions or the strange things about him, such as his 'uncanny' ability to heal very fast. Two hours later and five cups of coffee, Castiel was awake and Dean was aloud to see him. The hospital room was small but strangely cozy, with off white wallpaper and gleaming white floors. Cas's bed was tucked away in the far corner of the room, and he was tilting his head to one side as he studied the television program with intense curiosity. Dean Winchester made his way over to his bedside, and took a seat in a brown leather chair next to him. "Hey, Cas." He said, and followed Castiel's gaze to the TV. There was an ugly news woman talking about some boring jazz or another. "Hello, Dean." Cas replied, removing his eyes from the screen. "Listen, we got to uh, blow this joint. You gonna be okay?" "I'll be fine." Said Castiel with a slight smile perched beneath his nose. Dean nodded, a tad bit puzzled. "Okay, so you wanna… get out of here?" Dean cursed himself for the way he phrased it. "Okay." Cas agreed. "I can take us back to your car." Dean nodded. "Yeah, sure. But hey, it'll take me a minute to gather up my crap from the motel room before we hit the road again." "I understand." "Oh, and you can tell me who the hell hurt you on the drive." Castiel then grabbed Dean's hand, and Dean rolled his eyes before the two ended up in the parking lot outside of the motel they were currently staying at. "I'll be right back out, so wait here, okay?" Cas nodded, and stood unnervingly still by the Impala. As Dean gathered his few possessions up in his duffel bag, he heard what sounded like two people talking outside the motel. Curious, Dean peeked through the thin curtains, and saw a tall blonde woman standing across from Castiel, seemingly angry. A jolt of worry shot through Dean's body. More angels, maybe? He draped his bag over his shoulder and bolted outside. "Cas?" He said, trying to keep his voice under control. The blonde angel let an angel blade slip out from under the sleeve of her red coat and into her hand. Dean froze. Castiel had his guard up, ready for a fight. Dean wished he could help, but he was defenseless against a celestial being. Cas and him exchanged glances before the other angel took a swipe at Castiel's face with the silver blade. Cas easily dodged it, stepping to the side and grabbing hold of her arm. She grunted in anger, and Cas took a knee to her stomach. She yelped, and then he threw her to the pavement with an inappropriate gracefulness. She rolled away and rose to her feet in a quick flash. Dean's head was spinning. The blonde angel waited for Castiel to charge, when she tossed the blade into his chest with ease. "No!" Shouted Dean, and he covered his eyes as copious amounts of white light exploded from Castiel's vessel. He uncovered himself when the piercing hum of an angel's death could no longer be heard. There was Castiel, sprawled out on the pavement, the projection of his wings all but glorious as they spread themselves almost across the entire parking lot, bits of ash that always reminded Dean of a moth's wings floating about the air around his body. Dean felt his heart drop. "Winchester." Said a female voice from behind him. He turned around to see the same angel who'd taken his best friend's life. She bent over Castiel's body and removed the angel blade from his chest. It gleamed with sunlight and dark red blood from Cas's vessel. After a pause, the angel turned to Dean, appeared in front of him in a split second, and plunged the sword into his chest as well. A small cry of pain escaped him just before everything turned black.


	2. Where are we, Cas?

Dean Winchester opened his eyes. He was outside it appeared, because he was laying on his back facing up toward a swollen sky. He sat bolt upright and looked around. He was in a field of dead grass, and a breeze floated over the land. It was a cold one, too, and Dean realized he could see his the hell? He thought. How could it be this cold if it was summer? Then he remembered. "Cas." He muttered. He had no clue how he was alive, that is if he even was alive at all. It didn't matter, though. What he had to do was find Castiel and see if he knew anything about the situation they'd gotten themselves into. As he crossed the fields, he became increasingly tired. It was a long walk to the road by this field, but he could see it on the horizon. Once he'd reached the gravel road, he looked both ways before heading in one direction, walking along the shoulder of the deserted highway. As he continued down the road, he became more and more uncomfortable. He felt like he was alone. It wasn't the sense of average loneliness, but instead it was as though he were alone in the entire world. Come to think of it, maybe he was. He had been stabbed, after all. Maybe he was a ghost, and Cas had died and gone to Heaven. Dean pushed the thoughts away and tried to focus on finding the angel. As he walked toward wherever it was he was going, the road only seemed to go on longer. Eventually, he found himself stopping on the highway, sitting down and cursing under his breath. He figured this was how Alice felt when she ended up in Wonderland.

ψ

Castiel woke up laying beneath a large willow tree. He scanned his surroundings like a trained professional. He was in a park. A rather large one. He wondered why he had been sleeping. Since when did angel's sleep? The only times he's slept is when he was human. Perhaps that was the only explanation, then. He remembered that he and Dean were on a hunt when Tabbris, his angelic sibling had attacked him. Was Dean okay? Or did she do away with him as well. He hadn't meant for things to get out of hand. She was the one who decided to turn against him and spy on him as she choose Raphael's side over his. She was one of his most trusted sisters, too. Once he'd found out, they'd gotten in a fight back in Heaven, when he escaped (barley) and ended up in Dean's motel room. Thank God he'd found the strength to zap himself to Dean, otherwise he would not have taken him to the hospital. Not that it mattered now. Tabbris had found him once again, though he was certain he'd hidden himself well. He should have never stayed with Dean and put him in such danger. He rose from the soft, dead grass, and tried to focus on Dean. He heard his distant voice; he was praying. "Cas, it's me, Dean. If you're here, then I… I can't find you, man. You gotta blip over here." Castiel then closed his eyes and concentrated on his wings. He tried to think of appearing to Dean, but it was useless. Whatever had happened had drained him of his celestial powers. What could have done something like this? The only thing he could do was follow the sound of Dean's voice in his head, but Dean was not one for praying, so that short prayer was probably all Cas was going to have to go by. Regardless, he followed the direction from which Dean's prayer had come, walking around in this strange new world.

ψ

Castiel came upon the rundown shack by the side of the highway. As he approached, he called out weakly, "Dean?" He felt so tired. He can't remember ever feeling this tired, even when he was human. Dean was sitting inside the gas station when he heard Cas's gravely but oddly faint voice. He stood up, wondering if he'd imagined it. It's not like he and Cas had been separated that long, but there was something about this place that made everything feel different. He left through the same broken up wooden doors with small glass panes he'd entered through. It was still that eerie gray color outside, and the cold bit the areas of Dean's exposed skin. Cas stumbled his way over to Dean, loosing his sense of direction. Dean saw the angel coming and rushed over to him. As he did, Cas's legs felt weak and he dropped to his knees. Dean picked up his pace, and then knelt down beside him when he reached Cas. "Cas?" Dean said in a hoarse tone as he attempted to hold him up. Cas responded with a low groan. Something was happening to him. As Dean tried to keep him awake, (or alive, he wasn't sure which) he helped him up by putting Castiel's arm around his own shoulder, and they walked back toward the only current shelter. When they got inside, Dean propped Castiel up against the counter he had been eating at a moment ago. Cas's eyes were closed and he'd gone pale. Dean checked his pulse. He was still alive, but whatever was happening was really taking it out of him. Cas stirred a bit, but Dean told him to just relax, and he opened the door to a small fridge and removed a bottle of most likely shitty tasting water, knelt beside the angel and helped him to drink it. Castiel came a little more into consciousness as he took the bottle from Dean and downed the whole thing in no time. After that, he seemed more lively. Dean took the empty bottle and tossed it to the side. He then rested a hand on the angel's shoulder. "Hey, man... you alright?" Castiel did not respond, but instead his head dropped to one side. "Dammit." Said Dean. "Don't you go and do that." He pleaded hotly, but it was no use. He stood up, fighting back tears. It was too much... just too damned much. Without Cas, how the hell was he supposed to get out of this place? Everything he'd seen so far was deserted. This was a lifeless world, and he knew that. Even when he first arrived and he was in a field that could be excused away as a field still on Earth, he knew that it wasn't. It was as though this information was already in his brain from the moment he got here. He looked at his friend's now lifeless body. "Where are we, Cas?" Just then, Cas's eyes opened and he spit out a bit of blood, but Dean didn't care. Yes, he was clearly injured, but at least he was fucking alive, and that was a win in Dean's book. He smiled down at Cas, and Cas met Dean's green eyes and returned his smile, though it was distant.


	3. Let's go

Dean Winchester and Castiel spent a while longer at the run down gas station, mostly to give Cas some time to heal. Once he was well enough to travel, that's what they did. Castiel never really got a hundred percent better again. Sometimes he'd be able to go a couple of weeks without feeling lousy, but then he'd become ill once more. It really started to trouble Dean. In between incidents, he'd ask Cas all kinds of questions about why they were killed by that angelic bitch, or if he had any idea as to where they were. Castiel told him that Tabbris was the title of the angel who killed them, and she did so because she betrayed Cas and was actually a follower of Raphael, spying on Castiel's side. When Cas found out, there was a fight, and he escaped to Dean, thinking he'd brushed her off. Dean took him to the hospital, but when they got back, she'd already re located Castiel, and with righteous fury she finished what she started. Raphael would be proud, the dick. As far as knowing where the hell they were, Castiel was at a loss just as much as Dean was. This world was forever a smoke gray color, like the kind that came out of a chimney on a Winter's day, and the cold wouldn't let up. Dean would roll with the idea that Cas was just sick from the relentless bad weather, but that would not explain the ample amounts of blood he barfed up whenever he wasn't feeling up to date. It's a good thing he always wore that trench coat, or he'd be chilled to the bone. Same with Dean's leather jacket, though he still felt the cold come through whenever there was a mighty gust of wind or some shit. It was unheard of for angels, but Cas obviously felt it too. Well, maybe the laws of ration escaped this world's understanding. Maybe it dulled Castiel's angelic abilities because he was, in turn, removed from Heaven's powers. Not the same as when an angel entered the land of abomination, but rather just like when Cas rebelled against Heaven and was but a useless celestial being occupying his vessel. Slowly but surely, Cas was becoming human again. Dean didn't mind so much, he kind of liked human Cas, at least when he wasn't strung out. Though he didn't let it slip his mind that he was dumb to the pain it must bring Castiel; the sorrow. Humans are the lowest asshats on the food chain, after all. Eventually, the two lost count of how many days it had been, not that any period of time felt appropriate for labeling, anyway. Time felt as though it moved differently here… just like in Hell. The negative feels this place hit Dean with were really starting to get on his nerves. During their months of senseless travel, Dean and Cas hardly argued. Cas was grateful. He felt too much like shit to disagree with Dean. At one point, they stopped by an abandoned house. Of course it was empty, every fucking thing here was deserted. That was yet another thing about this world that scared the hell out of Dean; there was nothing. He felt so completely alone. Well, at least he had Cas. Though he felt like forces unseen were toying with him the way Castiel kept teetering on the edge of life, sometimes so damn sick that he'd stay asleep for days straight without stirring. They stayed in this large and actually very appealing house for quite a while. The living room was the size of two of Bobby's living rooms, the kitchen was bigger than a restaurant kitchen, there were four very roomy bedrooms, and the dinning room could fit an actual dinning table. Dean took the bedroom on the second floor farthest down the narrow hallway, and Cas slept on the ground floor in the smallest room tucked away through a small bathroom connected to the living area. Dean told him he didn't need to be so dramatic, that there were other more suitable rooms, but Cas insisted. Dean figured it was because the bathroom was right there, and Cas wanted easy access in case he had another urge to barf. Dean understood that. All in all, he was digging their digs. He discovered that he began to lack human needs, such as sleep, though he did that one anyway, if for no other reason than habit and a desire for some sort of comforting ritual. He also did not need to eat, and that was a hell of a good thing, cause food was hard to come by here. Not to say that he didn't jump on the chance to taste a delicious burger if the opportunity presented itself, which it rarely did. He lost the need to drink. Yup, he was defiantly dead. Oh, well. Life had been a bitch anyway. Not to say that he didn't want to wrap Sam and Bobby in a bear hug simultaneously, but at least now it was over. All the pain, running, fighting, dying, trying to stop the world from burning even though he knew it was a lost cause because God himself had turned his back on his children. He was free from responsibility and any previous weight on his already overburdened shoulders. He was dead, plain and simple. As for Cas, he needed sleep; he needed human things that Dean no longer did. It was ironic, really. It was as though they were reversing roles. Dean got why the former angel required sleep more so than Dean. For one thing, he's just now turning human, and for another, he was so sick that rest was probably the only thing keeping him alive. Why the hell was Cas in this world with Dean, anyway? Was there actually a logical explanation for that? One morning as Dean woke up on his large bed with it's dark green covers and silky sheets, he glanced out the window to his right. He couldn't really see past the red curtains, but there was a slither of dual gray light seeping into the room. His room had dark blue painted walls, old and dusty but oddly fitting hardwood floors, and a large dresser to his left against the wall by the door to the hallway. There was a small table lamp on top of it that illuminated a very dim amount of light whenever Dean turned it on. He liked it, though. It made the room even more cozy. As Dean rose from his bed with a groan, he continued to look out the window. After relieving his bladder in the adjoining bathroom, (that was one thing he still had to do, although he figured he'd loose that ability as well) he came back out and opened the curtains wide. Was that…?

He then made his way downstairs and into Castiel's bedroom. Cas was lying there, softly snoring away. He likes Cas's room. It was the size of the bathroom connected to the master bedroom of the house, (Dean's bedroom) but it had a warm feel to it. The walls were covered in faded red wallpaper with even more faint green rose designs. Dean viewed that part of the room as being weird, but whatever. The floors were the same as Dean's bedroom, just as most of the house was. Cas had no lamp in here, and the overhead light and fan did not work. He slowly crept across the floors, which creaked under foot regardless of his careful pace. He didn't know why he was being quite; he was going to wake Cas anyway. Once he reached the fallen angel's bed, he stood over him, watching him sleep for a change. Cas did not so much as twitch. When Cas would watch Dean, he'd wake up automatically with a jolt of surprise. Even through his unconscious mind he felt that piercing blue stare. Apparently, Castiel was perfectly content and not unnerved to have Dean watch him sleep. That kind of creeped Dean out more than it should have. Dean sat at the foot of Cas's bed, and after watching him sleep for a while, he'd almost forgotten why he came down here. Now he sees why Cas watches Dean sleep. It's comforting, and almost puts you into a state of complete relaxed sensation. The rhythm of someone's peaceful breathing. The room quite other than that hypnotizing sound. He understood now. Either that, or Cas was just perverted. He smiled softly to himself. He wanted to stay like that forever. He wanted to protect Cas from all the hurt and ugly in the world, he wanted to– wait, what? Dean snapped himself out of his trance, and then shook Cas lightly. It took a minute before he opened his eyes. "Dean?" He asked sleepily, and Dean nodded. "Yeah. How you feeling?" Cas did not respond, but instead sat up in bed. Dean noticed that he still had on his trench coat. He snorted. "What are you doing in my room, Dean?" He sounded annoyed. Dean smiled. If it's one thing he liked to do, it was get on his buddy's nerves, such as when he made references that the former angel did not understand. "I just wanted you to see something." He said with way too much glee for this early in the morning. How early was it? It wasn't like a single clock in this world worked. He rose from the rather comfortable bed, and opened the white curtains to reveal a front yard full of snow. Dean watched the drifts continue to bury the world in white, then he turned around and grinned at Cas. Castiel kept his face neutral, but said nonetheless, "I see. It's nice to look at." "Isn't it?" Agreed Dean, coming back over to the bed to join Castiel's point of view. He sat at the foot again, and the two watched as the snow piled up. Dean felt a question tickle at his throat. "Hey, Cas." "Yes, Dean?" "Are you well enough to maybe… take a walk?" Cas stared at him for a long moment, resting his back against the headboard. "You are quite fascinated by the snow, I see." Dean smiled. "Yeah. I've got the maturity of a ten year old." Dean could have sworn Cas was trying to return his smile, but it ended up looking like he hadn't relieved himself in a week. Not that angels needed to. Unfortunately, Cas was going to have to learn how now that he was gradually becoming human. "Dean…" Cas said, his eyes focused on the window. "I would like that."

ψ

Dean didn't know if Cas was well enough to go for a walk, but since he agreed, Dean ignored all else. They were going to take a short walk, of course, because he didn't want Cas to drop dead on him. Not yet, anyway. This neighborhood was probably very nice and lively. That is if there ever was any life here to begin with. They walked to the end of the street, and as they did, Castiel walked slower and slower. Dean tried not to notice, but it was a bit hard when the former angel was panting like he'd run a marathon. He stopped when they reached a small almost cottage like house in appearance. They stood under a streetlamp that was probably once very bright. "Cas, we can go home if you want." Cas knelt down, hands on his knees as he caught his breath. "I'm okay." He insisted, and Dean felt a pang of guilt. He could have informed Cas he was going out, and gone on this walk by himself, but no. He had to be a dick and demand Castiel's company. Not that he actually forced Cas into anything, but seeing him like this… he sure as hell felt like he did. "Cas–" "Dean, I'm fine." Cas then swallowed a thick glob of blood mixed with spittle, reprising the urge to vomit. He stood up straight, and then met Dean's green gaze. Dean swallowed, too… but not for the same reasons Cas had. "Let's go." Said Cas, breaking Dean out of his ecstasy.

ψ

Once they got home, the first thing Cas did was head directly for his bedroom through the bathroom, shut his door, and plopped himself down on his big bed. Dean swallowed a lump in his throat. The dude had gone through so much shit for Dean in the past, and yet this was the thing that got him. As sick as he was, he wanted to take a walk with Dean. He said that he wanted to, but Dean was willing to bet all his stolen credit cards that Cas only said that so Dean wouldn't feel like an ass, which he totally was. He decided right then and there that he was going to do something for his friend, even if it was just let him sleep in god damned peace for once. He then rummaged through the cabinets and drawers in the kitchen. There was some shit in here when they first arrived, and Dean had eaten the crap because that was when he still needed to. He found some packets of gravy, juices, puddings and hot cocoa. Perfect. He then grabbed two packets of the hot chocolate and got to work. The tap water still worked, thank god. How the hell did it work? Well, some mysterious are better left unsolved. There were a lot of things about this world that made no sense. It was like the world confused itself and changed rules around like nobody's business. The more Dean thought about the instability of this land, the more he wanted to curl up in a fetal position and rock back and forth, and so he tried his darn-est just not to think about it. He filled two mugs with powder from either packet, and then he filled them up with a decent amount of water. He wondered if this shack had any milk, but he wouldn't touch it even if it did. After that, he used the microwave to heat up the beverages in unison. He tried not to think about how sometimes the electricity in this house worked, and sometimes it didn't. What an elusive place this was. It felt like when Dean was down, so was the world. Like he was controlling it. He scared himself with these thoughts, and so he shoved them away like always. After the microwave beeped a series of times, he removed the cocoa from it and headed into Castiel's bedroom. The first thing he noticed was that Cas was laying on his back staring up at the ceiling so still that Dean feared he was not even alive. After he set the cups down on the nightstand beside Cas's bed, he felt a rush of anxiety pass over him. What if Cas really had died? He felt that lump return, and he swallowed it down. Hard. "Cas?" He said, his voice a hoarse whisper. When the former angel did not respond, he nearly wept right then and there. Why did this crap keep happening to him? He couldn't just break down like a fucking girl every time he thought he'd loose Cas. "Cas." Dean said angrily. Finally, he saw movement as Cas turned on his side to face Dean. Dean huffed in relief, but pretended he hadn't just been freaking out. "Dean." Cas sounded weak, and that escalated his worry right back to where it had been. "Cas, don't do things just to please me, okay?" Castiel picked up on Dean's heated emotions, and frowned. Well, deepened his mandatory frown. "You're angry." Dean rolled his eyes, but said nothing. "Here." He said as he handed a mug to Castiel after he sat up in his bed. "What's this?" "It's called, 'hot chocolate'." Cas only looked puzzled. "You'll love it, trust me." Said Dean as he sat beside him with a mug of his own. Cas then took a tentative sip. He recoiled with a hiss. "Oh yeah, it's hot." Said Dean. "Ass." Castiel muttered, catching Dean off his guard. Now it was his turn to recoil. Was Cas finally beginning to understand human humor? To his surprise, he found himself smiling. Cas didn't seem to notice or care what Dean thought of his remark, he only continued to blow on his hot beverage until it cooled down enough to drink. Once he was able to properly taste it, he slightly smiled. "This is tasteful." Dean nodded. "Told you." After studying his cup for a moment, Cas met Dean's eyes, and said with a genuine smile, "Thank you." Dean looked away and took a large gulp of his cocoa, and the liquid burnt his tongue and the sides of his throat. He told himself that the hot feeling in his cheeks was because of the cocoa. Cas drank his with determination. Dean felt his heart stir with pride. He always felt accomplished whenever he introduced Castiel to new human pleasures. Once he had finished with his drink, he gave the cup back to Dean, who reached over and put it on the nightstand. He slowly sipped his, watching Castiel as Castiel watched the snow out the window. "It really is a lovely sight." He declared, his face reminiscent of the wisdom from his long, long existence. Dean remembered when he first met Cas in that barn. He was an anomaly. Now, seeing him in his nostalgic way, Dean found his to be a very comforting presence. "Dean." Said Castiel. "Huh?" Said Dean over the rim of his white coffee mug. "Do you miss Earth?" Dean had been thinking that they weren't in Kansas anymore, but it was still unnerving to here someone say it out loud. "Nah." He replied without much hesitation. Now Castiel's attention turned toward Dean. "I mean, sure I miss the lively bars and cheesy television programs I indulged in, but other than that… my life kind of sucked." "You don't miss your brother?" That struck a note in Dean that he wasn't ready to admit. He stood up, mug in hand. "I'll rinse our dishes." Then he hurried out of the room, and Castiel watched him go.


	4. Cas, you don't know that

Over the next couple of days, Castiel became even more severely ill, drifting in and out of a wakeful state whenever Dean popped in to see how he was doing. On one of these visits, Dean brought some soup or something, but Castiel declined. This obviously worried Dean, so he reassured him that he wasn't any less physically capable than he already had been, he was just very tired and wished to go back to sleep. Heedless, Dean left the bowl of hot liquid on the nightstand in case he changed his mind. Eventually, Cas began to be unable to see properly. Every time he sat up in bed, it would appear as though the walls were swaying and and the floor was turning over to meet the ceiling. Upon such occasions, he'd abruptly lie back down until he slipped into that serene and merciful unconscious state. It was around what Dean assumed to be mid afternoon when he came to a conclusion. He was unable to tell if these thoughts were accurate, or if he was just going slightly mad and stir crazy, so he took his thoughts to the former angel, who, as Dean saw when he entered, was bending over the side of the bed and vomiting all kinds of shit onto the already scuffed up wooden floors. "Holy crap." Whispered Dean frantically. He then rushed into the bathroom he'd just entered through, grabbed a stained towel off the rack by the sink, and hurried to his friend's bedside. He waited for Cas to stop vomiting for at least one friggin' second so that he could slip the towel into the frequented area. Once the opportunity came, he laid it out and then backed away, watching in disgust and concern, his gag reflex giving him hell. During the eye of the storm, Dean said, "Hey man, you fucking okay?" Cas didn't even acknowledge Dean, panting and trembling as he tried to suppress another wave of bloody throw up. His breathing became more and more shakier as it became more difficult. "Cas." Dean swallowed. After a great struggle, Cas rose from his bent over position, but only to lie back down on the pillow. Dean took this as his cue. He made his way around the bed and stood on the safe side, his back to the window. He noticed that the curtains still remained opened, as they had since Dean pointed out the snow. Even at night. Cas really seemed to love Winter. Dean sat beside Cas on the bed, and watched as Cas wearily opened his blue eyes. "Hey, sleeping beauty." Dean joked, but Castiel, understandably, was not in a humorous mood. "Dean…" he said, and slowly moved his hand to touch Dean's. Dean flinched from the sudden intimacy, but out of respect for the sick angel, he did not move away. "You okay?" Dean nearly whispered. Cas managed an awkward nod, his head in the pillow, his hair sticking to his forehead with sweat. Dean was not buying that for a second. "Dude, what the hell is going on?" Cas tried to sit up, but Dean gently pushed him back down. "I don't know." He replied after he released a deep breath. "I'm afraid I'm at a loss." Dean scoffed. "Join the club. So, the other day…" He trailed off, trying to think. Was that but a matter of days ago, or was it more like weeks? There was no telling, so he often guessed crap like that. "What?" Wondered Castiel, snapping Dean out of his thoughts. "You said… well, anyway, basically you confirmed that we're no longer… alive." Cas sighed, and Dean was beside him, nothing but a blur, only to get blurrier. "I… I don't believe we're in the human realm anymore, no." "Meaning?" "Considering the fact that we were both stabbed, I would assume we're dead, but I have no idea where we are now that we've actually meant death." Dean bit his lower lip, trying to figure a bunch of shit out in his head. "Okay, I get why I might be in this…" Dean gestured in a wide motion. "This world. But you? You're an angel– or were, so why are you here and not in Heaven?" "It's a good question, one I would love to answer, but Dean… I'm just as confused as you are." Dean sighed heavily, agitated at these circumstances. "So, then… is it possible that we actually are in Heaven?" Cas withdrew his hand from Dean's. "It's doubtful. If we were in Heaven, it would have to be yours, because Angels do not go to the same regions humans do. Heaven for a human soul is their own personal paradise. Unless this is what you desire most, Dean… I don't think we're in Heaven." Dean considered this. Nope. No way in hell was being alone in an entire world Dean's idea of Heaven. In fact, being alone was one of his greatest fears. He sighed yet again. "And so the plot thickens." He says, a small smile forming. He looked down at Cas, and he had fallen asleep. Either it was so deep, or very shallow because he was not snoring, and Dean learned that Cas was a snorer if ever ever there was one. He himself was guilty of that sometimes. He got up and headed to the living room through the bathroom. Since Cas became really sick, the bedroom and bathroom doors stayed open at all times so that Dean could here him calling if he needed something. Before he left the shitty smelling room, he turned back to glance at the former angel. He couldn't help but feel scared out of his mind. What would he do if he lost Cas? What would this world be like without at least one other living thing?

ψ

The next morning Dean was strolling into the kitchen lazily because he decided as he came into consciousness that he would make Cas a healthy breakfast with whatever crap they had here. Well, so much for that idea. They were running low, not that either of them needed to eat. However, it did seem to help Castiel a little whenever he consumed something. This was probably because his vessel was sick, and so it craved human things because it was under a human condition. Dean ended up just making some dried cereal with peanut butter in it instead of milk, because the milk was green, as he discovered like a week ago, and after witnessing this, Dean threw it out of the house… literally. He poured a glass half full with OJ that he hoped wouldn't kill the poor guy, and then brought these things into his room, and rested them on the nightstand as he shook him awake. After a pretty friggin' scary wait, Cas responded with a mumble, and Dean smiled softly to himself. "Hey, I made you some breakfast." Cas turned over just long enough to smile and say thank you, but then he turned back around and burrowed himself into the bedding. Dean sighed. He reached onto the nightstand and grabbed the bowl. "Cas, come on… you need your strength." "Dean, food won't do anything to help this." Dean frowned. "Cas, you don't know that." "Dean." Said Cas, turning back around. "I do." They starred at each other for a long moment, Dean seeing the absolution in the former angel's eyes that he always carried with him, apparently even as he descended into humanity. "Well then humor me." He said in a harsh tone. No way was Cas going to pull this crap with him. He was getting better. End of story. Cas reluctantly sat up, the world swimming. As he rested against the headboard, he felt bile rise in his throat, and he swallowed it back down. He attempted to take a bite, but his hand was trembling so that he could not. Dean put his hand on Castiel's in an attempt to steady him. Cas dropped the spoon back into the bowl. "Dean–" "It's okay, you don't have to." Dean then grabbed the bowl from Cas's lap and began to eat it himself. "You think you can handle some orange juice?" Cas nodded, and Dean handed him the glass. Dean held his hand over Castiel's as he drunk, pretending that wasn't a very uncomfortable thing to do. After he took a small sip, he sighed. "That felt good on my throat." "Yeah?" Dean took the glass from him, not wanting to force anything. After he rested it back on the nightstand, he said with a mouthful of peanut butter covered cereal, "So how you feeling this morning?" "I'm fine." Even though that was a load of bull, Dean had to hand it to the guy; he wasn't complaining under the weight. Dean always knew he was tough for a little nerdy dude with wings. Cas spent a good deal of time looking out at the snow covered front yard, so Dean said, "You like the snow, huh?" "Yes." Replied Castiel absently. It had stopped falling, but that wouldn't last long. Dean ended up just gazing out at the snow, too, until he finished eating Cas's breakfast and drinking his OJ, when he rose from the bed and went to clean up the dishes. When he returned, Castiel had fallen asleep sitting up against the headboard, so Dean woke him just enough to instruct him to lie back down. Cas did so, and after a moment, Dean asked in a low tone, "You need anything? More pillows?" When he got no response, he huffed and said with a dose of affection, "Would you like me to help you take off that overcoat?" Still there was silence. Dean waited a bit longer, watching the snow once again start to fall.

ψ

It started about three days ago, Dean assumed. Cas had started talking to himself. The first time Dean heard it, he was in the kitchen making some tea for his friend when he heard a small laugh and a little annoyed mutter. Dean thought that maybe Castiel was talking to him, so he entered the room and asked if he needed anything. Cas looked at Dean, his eyes wide and frightened. Dean had never seen him look so alone and defenseless as he did then. Needless to say, Dean was worrying himself to death. Either Cas was really strung out on a fever, or he truly was going mad. Dean went with the former. Cas often talked to himself now, and Dean found himself incapable of sleeping just thinking about the days ahead. Would Cas become just a drooling vessel of insanity and bloody vomit? Or would he actually be able to walk and talk normally again? Damn, this was one of the worst things Dean could think to happen. Why the hell would Castiel teeter on the edge of life? Was this world not meant for angels? As he tossed and turned, memories came to him.

'Cas, get outta my ass!'

'I was never in your…'

He smiled to himself, and messed with with the blankets.

'That's some pretty nice timing, Cas.'

'We had an appointment?'

Cas was the only thing Dean had left. He couldn't loose him. Cas had died before, more than once, but this was different. Dean didn't have a Sam or a Bobby or anyone else for that matter. All he had was Cas. If he died…

Dean sat up. He walked into the bathroom, washed his face, and studied himself in the mirror. There were bags under his green eyes cause he hadn't gotten a wink of sleep since Cas started reciting One flew over the cuckoo's nest. He sighed, turned off the tap, and headed downstairs. He told himself he was just going into the kitchen to get some water, but he knew he'd end up peeking in on Cas. With water in hand, he creaked across the floors to stand by Cas's bed. To his relief, there was a small snoring noise. He watched him for a bit longer before going back up to his own bedroom.


	5. Run that by me one more time

Dean stared at Cas. Cas stared at Dean. "Run that by me one more time." Said Dean, his voice rough with annoyance. Cas sighed. "Forget it." He said in a tone that carried an unusual bitterness. It took all Dean's strength not to visibly wince. "Cas, listen-" "If you don't want to sleep with me, just say so Dean." Dean felt a wave of heat travel through his whole body and up to his face. "Don't phrase it like that!" He snapped. "But, Dean... isn't that what we'd be doing?" Now Cas was simply puzzled, and all traces of darkness were gone. "Yes, technically, but it can mean different things. They way you said it sounded like-" He stopped when he noticed the former angel's bewildered expression, rolled his eyes and let out a groan of frustration. "Oh, fuck it." He muttered, and made his way over to the bed. "Scoot." He demanded. Cas did so with a pleased smile. "Friggin' child." Dean murmured. Luckily he was already set for bed in boxers and a T-shirt, so he didn't need to worry about stripping in front of him. After Castiel's fever went down for a short period of time, he spoke to himself less and clearly became more lucid. When Dean came to check on him tonight, Cas said that he wanted to enjoy his healthy moments with Dean and make the most of it before he got sick again. Dean didn't like that negative talk, but he nonetheless understood where his friend was coming from. So when Cas asked Dean to sleep with him, Dean nearly died. At first he thought he meant sleep with him as in... well, anyway, what Cas ended up explaining was that he wanted Dean's company, not his body. So Dean curled up next to Cas, and was very grateful that the bed was so big. Everything would be fine if Cas stayed on his side. However, the warmth of the body next to his still reached Dean, and he found himself slip into a very comfortable state of mind. Even if they were in some weird ass world where sometimes rules applied, and sometimes they didn't, he had Cas, and Cas had him. With these pleasant thoughts in mind, he drifted into a borderline sleep zone, so relaxed and content to just stay like that forever. Hell, this was going to be the best he'd slept in weeks. He had no idea how much time passed before he heard a quite voice whisper in his ear, "Dean." He woke with a jump, even though his friend had whispered. "Cas," he instantly scolded. "Personal fucking space." "Dean..." Now Dean sat up, because the former angel sounded a tad bit uneasy. "What's wrong, Cas?" He asked, rubbing his eyes, hoping they'd adjust to the dark. Even though the curtains were aside and the white snow outside reflected the pale moonlight, Dean still found it difficult to see very well. Probably because there were no streetlights and shit. "I have to use the bathroom." Ah. Cas started having to make waste about a week ago. Dean sighed. "So go use the bathroom." "Dean." Cas practically begged. "Don't be scared, Cas!" Said Dean, throwing his hands up into the air. "It's a natural human function." "Exactly..." Cas was sitting up as well, and he put his head down. Dean rolled his eyes, trying to ignore the stab of guilt that hit his gut. "Okay, fine. Look, I am not coming in with you, but I'll be happy to wait right outside. Okay?" Cas nodded in the dark. "Yes." They both rose in unison, and Cas took the lead, entering the bathroom and shutting the door behind himself. Dean huffed a nearly in audible laugh, and leaned his back against the door as he waited for him to finish up in there. He tried not to listen, humming Back in black. That was one thing he did miss. Music. "I still don't see how this helps!" Dean called. After the toilet flushed, Dean got off the door so that Cas could open it. Once he did, the two made their way back to bed. As Dean pulled the blankets around himself, he said, "Now don't wake me up to talk about how amazing your toes are or some shit." There was a pause, and Dean couldn't help but smile. Cas had no idea what he was making reference to. "I don't understand that reference." Admitted Castiel, sounding a bit disappointed. Dean chuckled softly. "I know you don't, buddy... I know you don't."

ψ

As Castiel's health looked better and better each day, Dean began to make plans as to what their next destination was. Did they really need one? Cas said himself said that they were dead, so maybe it was time to just... let go. Hell no. Dean needed to find out exactly where in between worlds they were. If they weren't in Heaven, and obviously not Hell, then where were they? There was always Purgatory, but from what Dean heard that place was full of monsters. That did not fit the description of this world. Here, there was nothing but him and his angel. He found himself unable to relax and be at peace in his death (god, he couldn't believe he was thinking like that) until he knew where they were. Dean and Cas often slept together now, and yes, they only slept and nothing more. Dean actually got a lot more sleep when he was in bed with the former angel. He tried not to think about what that meant. Cas seemed to like it, too. Once he was past the finish line and stayed there, Dean would break the habit. However, for now he still got sick sometimes, and neither of them were sure how long his good health would last. So far, it was a record; three weeks of healthy happy Cas. He was able to walk around the house, but Dean barley let him go outside in the cold, unless he bundled up with discarded clothes left over in the dressers, and even then he'd only let him go out to the back porch. Okay, so maybe he was babying him a bit. Just a bit. Dean wondered who lived here before. There were still men and women's clothing and such, and it makes him think that maybe, just maybe there was life here once after all. While Dean sat on the front stoop, Cas opened the front door and stepped outside. He was wearing his normal tax accountant shit, tench coat and all, a long checkered green scarf, a matching green hat and some red gloves. The snow had stopped falling days ago, but it was still damn cold. "Hello, Dean." He greeted as he sat beside him on the brick stoop, his feet resting on the cobble stone walk in front of them. He noticed that Dean must have shoveled it out with something (or just kicked it clear) because last time he came out here the stoop was nearly buried in snow. "Hey, how you feeling?" Cas thought for a moment. "Better, I think." "Good." Dean saw Cas fingering something in his right hand. "What you got there?" "I don't know." He said as he handed it to Dean to inspect. Dean snorted. "Those, you don't want, trust me." He said, looking down at the pack of Carnival cigarettes in his hand. "What are they?" Cas wondered. "Eh, nothing." Replied Dean, giving them back to Cas. "They're just for humans who need something to take their minds off their worries." Dean glanced over at his friend to see him reaching into the pack and removing a long, slender fag. He rolled his eyes. "What are you gonna light it with?" Cas took a faded orange lighter from his coat pocket. "This was with it, but I already know what this device is." Dean chuckled and shook his head. "You're going to regret that, man." "Hmm?" Said Cas as he lit the cigarette. It looked awkward in his hands. He was holding it like a pen. "Well, you're human now, right?" "Correct." "So then first of all, you actually may develop an addiction if you smoke enough of those, and second, you'll cough like you never have before, if you even have." "I have coughed quite a lot over the course of these months we've been here." Dean raised his eyebrows at that. He hadn't thought to ask if Cas was able to tell time here, because Dean sure as hell was not. "Has it been months? Really?" Castiel's face dropped. "To be truthful, Dean... I'm not so sure myself. I do not like this feeling of insecurity this place gives me." "You and me both." Dean agreed, holding out his hand to Cas. "Can I have one of those?" Cas inhaled the first drag of his smoke, and for a moment of hesitation, he just held it there until Dean instructed him to exhale. He did so, and began hacking out a lung. Dean couldn't help but laugh. He grabbed the lighter from Cas's hand and lit his own fag as he watched his angel with amusement. Dean had smoked a couple of times when he was a teenager, but nothing major. He himself was inexperienced as well, and so he also coughed up a storm. To his surprise and delight, Cas laughed loudly at Dean. Dean laughed along, trying to breath through it all. After the two calmed down and were able to smoke without too much trouble, Dean said, "Hey, Cas..." "Yes?" "If we come across a liquor store, or maybe an empty bar, you wanna get drunk?" Cas smiled fondly at him. "Certainty." Dean smiled back.

ψ

As Castiel became practically normal, they took walks on a daily basis and Dean moved back to his own bed. After what Dean guessed to be about a month, Cas was officially no longer threatening to cross the boarder of life and into death. Maybe it was just an overload of factors. Cas had become human right after he'd been stabbed and sent to wherever this was, and his body just couldn't handle that. Dean hoped that's all it was. They planned on what their next move would be. Dean suggested they hot-wire a car (if they could find a working one) and just hit the road until they found survivors if there were any. Cas seemed to agree with this, but he was also insistent that they find some place like a library where there might be working computers so that they could research shit. Dean agreed with Cas. Since the electricity in their house worked and then didn't and then did, and so on, Dean was willing to entertain the theory that a library would have the same luck. A few days after planning and packing the sparse things they owned into Dean's duffel, they headed out into the abandoned world.


	6. What are you still doing awake?

"I don't like this place." Said Castiel. Dean looked around at the completely empty diner, and said with a shrug. "I hear you. But listen, man... there's nowhere else for miles ahead and behind us. If you gotta go, you gotta go." When Cas still didn't budge, Dean sighed and put a hand on the former angel's shoulder. "Dude, chop chop." Cas reluctantly headed towards the men's bathroom. Dean smiled. Even though no one else was around, he still choose the men's bathroom. Dean would, too, but he found that he didn't need to relief himself as much as Cas did. How that made sense, he had no idea. Dean studied all the empty booths while Castiel was in the bathroom. The florescent lights overhead flickered, and dirt and mold had gathered here. Dean wouldn't eat any food in this place if he was offered a million bucks to do so. He was so grateful that he didn't need to. Neither did Cas, apparently. They had been on the road a week now, and they'd found an old Buick parked in the driveway of an abandoned house that they discovered had enough gas to make it to the next gas station, and since then they've been stopping at gas stations every chance they got with no particular destination in mind. When Cas came back out, he said with a frown, "Dean, it was so dirty." Dean chuckled. "What did you expect?" Cas shrugged, such an odd human gesture to see on his friend. "Hey, Cas I hate to make you feel like shit, but we may actually have to sponge bath ourselves here or something." "Excuse me?" Cas nearly shouted. "Well, I mean... back when we were at our, uh, home, I guess you could call it, we were able to shower at least a couple times a week when the water worked. But man, we've been on the road a week now, and there hasn't been an opportunity to-" "I understand." Cas cut him off with a resigned sigh. "Or," Dean said with a forced smile. "We could just wait until, you know, a more suitable place comes along and just sit around stinking 'til we do." Cas nodded, and his lips twitched in an attempt to smile as well. "I'd like that." Cas probably had no idea that most of what Dean said was just sarcasm, but whatever. "Alright then, pilgrim, let's hit the highway, yeah?" Cas nodded, and started following Dean out of the foul smelling diner, when he stopped in his tracks, causing Dean to do the same. "What's wrong, Cas?" Cas only stared at the back of the diner, and Dean followed his gaze and caught sight of a hunched over figure in the corner where the lights were out completely. He swallowed. "What the hell is that?" He whispered. Cas met his eyes, but only for a second before he turned them back toward the figure. "I don't know." He whispered back, and Dean could totally feel Cas tense up, even though he wasn't standing that close to the former angel. Dean was about to speak, when the silhouette scurried behind the counters in a split second. Dean grabbed Castiel's hand and bolted out of the broken glass of the doors. Cas ran with him, and the two all but had heart attacks as they got into the Buick parked in a an (obviously) empty space right outside of the diner. Once Dean was in the driver's seat, and Cas right beside him, he reconnected the wires that he'd previously disconnected to shut the car off as fast as he could, and then he pealed out of the empty parking lot and back out onto the highway. After catching his breath, he said, "I ran." Cas looked at him. "I ran." He repeated. "Why did I run?" He stared at his friend, as though Cas might have the answer to his question. He didn't. "Are you okay, Dean?" He asked, his expression even more fucked up with worry than Dean's was. "Yeah... I'm fine. Sorry." After there was a long silence, Cas asked, "What was that?" "Hell if I know, man." Said Dean as he glanced over at Cas. He was looking out the window at the passing fields beside the highway. There were many grassy hills for as far as the eye could see. Cas had always appreciated the beauty of the Earth and humanity in general. As much as the other angels liked to brag about how much they loved God's creations, Dean knew that was horse crap. Cas truly did, though. He tried to ignore the little tug at his chest. "So, um... there may not be people here, but are there... monsters or some shit?" He wondered. Now Cas turned to face him. "I don't know, but it would appear so, yes." "Awesome." He said sarcastically. Cas huffed a laugh, and Dean actually smiled. He saw that Cas's face was covered in dirt and so was the rest of him. His trench coat could probably pass as something he'd borrowed from a bum. Hell, Dean looked worse than Cas did, his jeans practically brown with stains and his plaid shirt and leather jacket a crumpled mess. Yes, it had only been one week, but they did a lot of traveling. "Dean." Said Cas. "Yeah?" "Thank you." Dean quirked one eyebrow up. "For what?" He asked, trying to keep his eyes on the road at the same time as trying to keep them on the other man. "Everything." Cas said simply. Dean swallowed. He didn't know how to reply to that, and so he did not.

ψ

That night, they pulled over and parked by the side of the road next to an endless field. Hell, they could have parked right in the middle of the highway and no one would have come, because no one was fucking here. Dean slept where he was, with the driver's seat tilted back enough to lay down... sort of. He didn't put it back too much because the former angel was sleeping in the backseat. Dean glanced at him every so often in the rear view mirror, his slender body curled up beneath his tattered trench coat, and his head resting on Dean's duffel bag. He was snoring softly. Dean smiled, and then gazed out at the fields he could see beyond the passenger side window. He reached over and worked the manual handle to roll it down, and cold air soon filled the cramped space, but he just needed to breath for a second. Cas stirred and let out a groan behind him, so he rolled it back up again with an annoyed sigh. There wasn't really much snow on the ground here. He had no idea where they'd gone, but it was drastically less cold than where they had their house. He then tried the radio for the hundredth time they'd had the Buick, and to his incredulity, it actually worked, and he quickly turned the volume down so that it was just a low murmur. He scanned stations, trying to find the news. It was stupid, he knew, considering the fact that no one was here, but he tried anyway. There was no music, either, because no one was hosting any radio stations. There was only static. He was engulfed in an overwhelming since of loneliness, until a hand landed on his shoulder. He looked back to see Cas with bed hair, looking half asleep sitting up wrapped in his overcoat. Dean smiled, though it was only half hearted. "Go back to sleep, dude." Dean said as he noticed Cas's eyes kept closing for long periods of time before they opened again. "Dean." Said Cas sleepily as he clambered into the passenger side, bumping into Dean on the way and earning himself a mumbled insult. Once he was seated, he said softly, "What are you still doing awake?" Dean sighed before he responded. "Can't sleep." Cas tilted his seat back to match Dean's. "Yeah?" "Yeah." Dean replied. Cas then narrowed his blue eyes at him. "Have you even tried?" "Nope." He admitted. Cas figured this was because he was still shaken from their encounter with whatever that shadowy creature had been, and now Dean as too wound up and worried to rest. Dean then sat up and reached over Cas to open the glove box and grab that pack of cigarettes he knew Cas had stashed there. He grabbed the lighter, too, and lit himself a smoke, cracking his window ever so slightly. Cas watched him. Dean only coughed a few times. "I thought you said you could develop an addiction." Said Cas. "I did." He then took a long drag and looked at Cas. Cas shook his head and removed one from the pack as well, then put it back in the glove compartment and shut it after lighting the smoke. Dean tapped his friend's shoulder. "Cas, open that back up." Cas did, and inside the glove box was a CD case. Dean grabbed it and read it. It was some band called The Supernaturals, and the album was Cigarettes & Alcohol. He inserted the single disk into the CD player and waited. Sure enough, a song came on, though it was quite cause Dean had turned it down. After listening for a moment, Dean raised the volume a bit.

'Every silver lining has a cloud and each piece of good fortune must be paid for by the pound'

'I've become so cynical these days'

'I don't know how it started but it won't go away'

'See the lines around my eyes'

'See the sarcasm in my smile'

Dean huffed a laugh. Cas smiled at him as he watched Dean flick ashes from his fag out the window. Cas followed suit after he opened his window a wee bit also. A chill wind crept across the land, and Castiel repressed a shiver. He glanced upward and witnessed a sea of crystal clear stars. He gasped, and Dean looked at him. "What?" He wondered. Cas ignored him and opened the car door to step out into the darkness, cigarette in one hand. "Hey, Cas!" Dean said as he got out. They both looked up. "Holy crap." Dean breathed. Cas smiled a very gentle smile at his friend, and Dean returned it. Dean shook his head. "Fucking awesome." The stars were so prominent against the black sky, glistening like morning dew on leaves. He could here the Scottish singer from the radio, though very faintly.

'You'd better smile'

'Smile'

'Cause that's all that you've got left'

'Your life's a mess, you've been cut adrift'

He sighed contently, and continued to gaze upward with Castiel.

ψ

The next morning, Dean Winchester woke up to find the passenger's seat empty. He groaned. He yawned as he opened the door of the Buick. It creaked. Once he stepped outside into the frigid air, he looked around for the former angel. He heard footsteps behind him, and there was Cas, making his way up a hill that was part of a large stretch of land on the other side of the highway. "Cas?" Dean called. Once Cas was closer, he responded, "I had to pee." Dean nodded and repressed a chuckle. "Okay, then." "Don't you?" Wondered Castiel, making his way around the Buick and hoping back into the car. "Nah." Said Dean as he did the same. "How come?" "I dunno, it just kind of happened." Cas let out a tired sigh as Dean reconnected the wires and the engine roared to life. "So, what now, Mr. Comatose?" "What do you mean?" Dean smiled. "Nothing." He rested his hands on the steering wheel as he said, "How about we head for the nearest library or something? You know, that is if we can even find one." Cas nodded. Dean applied pressure to the gas pedal as he turned the car back toward the center of the highway. After twenty minutes of silence, Dean said, "So how you been feeling?" Cas's eyes were on the planes of grass outside his window as he spoke. "Good." "So no urges to puke or shit?" "No." Dean nodded, pleased with this information. "Good, cause I don't know what I'd do without you." Oops. He didn't mean to say that so devotedly, but he had. Cas met Dean's green gaze, and Dean quickly averted his. "Dean." Said Cas softly, and Dean felt his cheeks get warm. He tried to act casual, but it was a bit difficult to pull off when Cas was giving him such a stare. Finally, Cas spoke up. "I know." Dean gave him a quick glance, then turned his attention back to he road. Cas was about to roll down his window when rain drops began to hit the windshield. "Damn." Dean grumbled as he flipped on the rusty, slow windshield wipers. As Dean did so, Cas pressed the radio on, and it picked up on the song it was on before they turned it off last night.

ψ

Towards evening time, Dean and Cas stopped at a truck stop because Cas would not shut up about his full bladder if he got shot in the leg. Also, Dean viewed this as an opportunity to take a shower. They approached the Pilot and Cas said, "Stay close. I don't know if those creatures are here, too." Dean eyed him warily. Was he seriously about to go all bad ass overprotective angel of the lord? When they entered the establishment, Dean headed directly for the showers, but stopped in his tracks when he saw a shelf containing various different kinds of pie. When Cas joined him and looked at the shelf, Dean smiled and said, "Dude, pie." Cas sighed, and Dean got a vivid image in his head of an old married couple. After scanning the options for a moment, he put his hand on Cas's shoulder and guided him to a door. After opening it, he led Cas to a room numbered 3, and tried turning the doorknob. When there was no luck, he stepped back and kicked it open. It gave way easily enough. "Guess what?" He said as he turned back to Cas. "We don't have to sleep in the car tonight." Cas smiled, and Dean gestured toward the stall in the room. "And feel free to take a shower." Dean then entered the small space. It honestly reminded him of one of the many crappy motels he'd stayed at in his years of hunting. Unfortunately, there was only one bed, but it was big enough he supposed. It's not like they hadn't slept together before anyway. He sighed and decided it best to get their things from the car. When he removed his duffel bag from the backseat, he walked back across the parking lot and into Pilot, and then right back to room 3 again. After throwing his bag on the bed that was covered in an ugly ass quilt, he went over to the shower stall. "Cas?" He said as he tapped on the door. "Yes?" Came the response. "You want me to bring you something to change into?" There was a pause, and then, "Yes, please." He then went back over to the bed, searched through his duffel and gathered some clothes. He noticed that all of them were dirty. He sighed, agitated. Fine, then. He opened a small door in the room that revealed a washer and dryer. As he gathered their clothes and dumped them in the washer, he prayed the power would work. Luckily, it did. Since there was no laundry detergent that he could see, he settled for just running it in hot water. After that, he knocked on the stall door again. "There soap in there, man?" "Yes." Cas confirmed as the water shut off. Dean glanced to his right where there was a rack. Cas's dirty clothes hung there. "Hey, man... you might have to just put back on what you were wearing for now, because I'm running the wash; all our clothes were dirty." "I see." Replied Cas. "Dean..." "Huh?" "Could you hand me a towel?" Beside the rack where Cas's clothes were was another containing clean white towels. "Oh, yeah." Cas then opened the door to the stall a peep as Dean gave him a towel. After Cas was done, Dean showered as well and also put back on what he had been wearing until the laundry got done, as gross as that was. Once they were both showered and eventually got to change into some clean clothes, Cas bundled himself up beneath the covers of the bed, and Dean joined him not long after. Throughout the night, Cas would toss and turn and Dean would complain, but in between it all they got a pretty decent night's sleep.


End file.
